​SILENT BOBS REVOKE HOWIES INVITATION TO THE SAUSAGE PARTY

WRITTEN BY DUCKTURTLE/GSPOT

09/28/2016 12:00 PM MT

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Trailing 5-3 heading into the fourth inning, Silent Bobs’ Sausage Party would employ an explosive six run rally to escape with a 9-5 victory in their week two showdown with Howies Heavers at Barelas Railroad Softball Complex.

“You know that was some ugly-ass shit,” captain Byron Matthews stated about his team’s poor defensive performance in his fake post-game interview with the GSPOT. “That’s a good team over there, and they’ll make you pay if you make mistakes.  I can’t forgive myself for that first inning error.  It was horrendous.  Absolutely soul crushing.  I’ll probably retire from kickball after today and move to Oklahoma City after that performance.”  

Whether Matthews’ words on retirement are serious or not, his error did prove to be costly.  Matthews playing first base was unable to haul in a rocket throw from catcher PJ DiCenzo that quite possibly shattered Matthews’ sternum while breaking his heart in the process.  The error kept the inning alive and allowed Howies to send four more kickers to the plate.  Paul “The Chuck” Norris gave Howies the early 1-0 lead with a soft liner into left field.  When asked about his kick, Norris stated to the GSPOT, “Big Kahuna [Daniel Dehn] was bringing some intense laser pitches this afternoon, but I found one I could do something with and well, I did my job.  I kicked it.”  Insightful stuff from the Norris! 

The case of the slips wasn’t just confined to the Silent Bobs’ sideline; Howies would have a case of the slippery fingers as well.  Tavis Drennan would drive in DiCenzo with a deflection off of Howies charger, Tommy, to tie things up at one in the bottom half of the first.  Norris was unable to handle Zack Rogers’ comebacker which possibly broke his chest as well as heart and probably his soul.  Matthews would turn that error into two runs with a liner off of Tommy and Norris to give the Silent Bobs’ a 3-1 lead.

Forrest Sweet would tie the game in the top half of the second with a two run single into right field that was just beyond the grasp of Amanda Rogahn and Brian Timchula in right field.  “Man, dude!  Bro…like…that single felt like hellva good, you know, bro,” Sweet would state in his imaginary post-game interview.  “Like today was my day – my day for revenge.”  Sweet would then break into an evil laugh, the BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA kind instead of the normal HA-HA-HA, because everyone knows that villains always laugh with the letter “B”.  It’s true, I read it on the internet, and they can’t put anything on the internet that’s not true.

Brittany “The Benedict Arnold” Herrera would get her own revenge against her former club in the top half of the fourth when she drew a bases loaded walk to drive in the fourth Howies’ run of the game.  Sweet would send a liner up the middle which was beyond the diving grasp of Tillery Stahr DiCenzo who made a hell of an attempt.  Despite the near catch, the Silent Bobs’ trailed 5-3 going into their half of the fourth.

In the Silent Bobs’ half of the fourth, DiCenzo would get things started with a double then he would come around to score on Timchula’s force out at first.  Matthews would drive in Drennan and move Rogers to third with a sacrifice fly to right field.  Peter Rogahn’s bunt single would drive in Rogers to give the Silent Bobs a 6-5 lead.  After Jason Gallegos’ bunt single, Daniel Dehn would get his own slice of the avenge pie with a two-run double into left field to put the game out of reach.

MOMENTS THAT MATTERED

SLIPPERY WHEN RUBBER:  The game was marred by a high number of errors on both sides of the ball with both teams turning the routine into adventure.  Captains on both sides acknowledged that the game could have been and probably should have been tighter.  Both teams accounted for about a billion errors which lead to 14 runs total.

LYNN’S BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN:  Sara Lynn was back on the Heavers’ sideline, and the new mom would bounce back with a 2-2 performance at the plate.  “I was just glad to get on base, you know, just doing my thing.” Lynn didn’t say after the game.

GAME QUOTES:  “Hey, can I warm up with you guys?”  “No!  No, you cannot warm up with us!” – Matthews answering Kniffin’s questions in pregame warm-ups.  They would later arm wrestle for intergalactic supremacy.

SOUND SMART WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  Forrest Sweet’s three RBI day against his former Hankey’s teammates was the most by a former player in a game against his former team since 1942 when good ol’ Horace “Piggly Wiggly” McGilly achieved that feat when he drove in two runs for the I am Kick James, Pitch against his former squad the Grass Kickers of Unser.

WHAT’S NEXT:  #10 Howies Heavers (1-1-0) will have their hands full going into the bye week as they’ll be locked in a double-header.  First, they’ll take the field against #11 Hakuna MaWAKA (1-1-0) on field two at 18:30 then they’ll take their talents over to field three with a matchup against the defending champs, #1 The Andy Dufresnes (2-0-0), at 19:30.  As for #2 Silent Bobs’ Sausage Party (2-0-0), they’ll get things started early on field four at 18:30 against #9 Holy Wakamole (1-1-0) who are coming off a 7-1 victory over #14 Poke Me and Go (1-2-0).

NEXT WEEK’S GAME(S) OF THE WEEK:  If you like kickball, and I’m assuming you do if you’re reading this well-written piece of literature which ranks right up there with Chaucer and Shakespeare then you’ll love this week’s games that I have selected for you.  On field five at 18:30, the battle of the kickball veterans will take place when #13 Taco Kick (1-1-0) and #20 Zia de los Muertos (0-3-0) clash in a fearsome battle to the death – not really just going for theatrics.  In the nightcap over on field six at 19:30, #19 DJ Tight Bunts (0-3-0) will be seeking their first win against #6 We’ve Got the Runs (1-0-1) who will be looking to remain undefeated on the young campaign.

**I have been touched by your kids, and I’m pretty sure that I’ve touched them.  **

WAKAPalooza Tips from Burn’s pro, Victoria

ZIA BALLERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With WAKAPalooza being NEXT WEEK, everyone  who is going or even thinking about going needs to STUDY Victoria’s submission.  I may even print out a copy and highlight some key points!

getting-ready-for-wakapaloooooooza

 

Tips and Tricks from P2K

*I apologize that the article that accompanies this picture would not properly insert into paragraph form.  I’m sure it is all my fault, but the link to the text does work! Please read the article as it has some very helpful info!!!!

If anyone would like to give me a computer tutorial I will happily accept the help…. Fia

choosingandusinginsectrepellents

GSPOT Contribuion: Taco Kick – Charity Helped Save My Life

Kickballers everywhere,

This season’s charity as we all know is the Children’s Cancer Fund of New Mexico. This charity is very near and dear to my heart. I didn’t really have cancer in the traditional sense of the word, although I did have a brain tumor when I was younger. Without the help and support of this great charity, someone you all know and love would probably not be here right now. I am that someoneIf it weren’t for this charity, my parents would not have been able to afford most of my medical bills even with their insurance. The doctors discovered my tumor when I was 2 years old. I went through 5 different brain surgeries up until the point when I was 8 years old. The charity doesn’t just pay for cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation. It also pays for thing such as the physical and/or occupational therapy services which you receive after your cancer treatments while you recover. In short, if it weren’t for this charity, I would not be who II am or where I am today. This season I wanted you all to be able to have personal knowledge of where this money you are donating goes and how it is used so that you are more likely to give of yourself whether it be your money or your time. Don’t just donate because you want your team to earn more social points, or because you feel sorry for the children suffering from cancer. Don’t donate just because I went through something similar to what these children are dealing with today. Do it because it’s something you want to do. Do it for the child that may grow up to someday maybe be a Waka kickball player themselves. Do it to SAVE A LIFE.

GSPOT Contribution: Hakuna MaWAKA

Whether you’re an ABQ ClubWAKA rookie or a well seasoned veteran, there are some aspects of participating in social sports that are universal. They go beyond whatever barriers may divide you otherwise. After all, we are all just professional social athletes trying to have a good time. Here are five things that all professional social athletes will understand.

 1.  Getting Your Team Together

Few things are as stressful as those days spent bothering your friends to complete their registration. From calling and texting to harassing your teammates via social media or GroupMe – you do what it takes to get your friends signed up. We all know, an incomplete team means being merged with some other group of weirdos and that just isn’t an option.  Just remember, no one said forming the Dream Team was going to be easy, but those headaches will definitely be worth it.

2. Containing Your Excitement on Opening Night

We all know the feeling, sitting at work knowing that opening night is just a few hours away. It can be difficult to contain your excitement when all you’re thinking about is the brand new kickball t-shirt you’re about to receive and finally being reunited with all your besties that you haven’t seen in 2.5 weeks. Just waiting to hear your referee yell, “Ball’s live!” for the first time of the season gives you chills. You might as well be in a glass case of emotion as excitement overpowers you. Play it cool, there are 7 weeks of amazing times ahead and this is just the beginning!

3. Bringing your “A-Game”

The league has begun and now is the time for you to dominate. As the week 1 excitement begins to turn into the burning desire to make the playoffs,  week in and week out you battle for the championship trophy. Snow, rain, 60 mph wind gusts or shine, it doesn’t matter. You’re there. Game face on. Ready to kill it.

4. Not Getting Too Drunk

Professional social athletes love their post-game bar time. I mean that’s half of the reason you sign up, right? Who doesn’t want to hit up the bar for a few hours on Thursday nights! It’s an amazing way to meet new people, have a good time with your teammates, and play some silly games. However, with work the following morning, the post-game bar scene might as well be a  tight rope act as you fight to find the balance between having a good time and not overdoing it. But remember, YOLO.

5. Remaining social on the first night of tournament

When the tempers flare and the emotions boil on the first round of tournament night, it can be easy to get lost in the moment and lose your cool. Remember though, social leagues are more about the fun and less about the winning, AMIRIGHT? Not to say that winning isn’t fun, but being a sore loser certainly isn’t fun for anyone.

Week 3: All Things WAKA

Hey Mesa Ballers! Welcome to Week 3! Let’s get into a quick recap of Week 2 before getting into Week 3 Shenanigans.

The theme last week was Decades! Teams got groovy, spunky, and grungy, and it was awesome. Remember that you only need 8 or more players in theme to get the full 5 points! This week’s “Best Dressed” were DJ Tight Bunts (1st), Bye Week (2nd), and Sister Mary Catherine’s School for PIMPS (3rd). 

Last week’s bar game was “This Blows” where players from each team had 1 balloon and 10 cups on the edge of the table. This proved challenging to a few players, but Justin from D.I.C.K killed this challenge and completed this in 11 seconds! 

The #picoftheweek winner last week was, once again, Hakuna MaWAKA. The one and only Wes Torres had a bit too much to drink, and suddenly thought he could bust some moves. 

And here is an update on the Social Points for LOTP!

1st – Hakuna MaWAKA (61 points)

2nd – Zia de los Muertos (49 points)

3rd – Sister Mary Catherine’s School for PIMPS (45 points)

And now onto Week 3!

The theme this week is WAKA Pride! In honor of WAKAPALOOZA coming up, this week’s theme is WAKA Pride. Pull out all of the WAKA swag that you have collected throughout the seasons or anything that you feel represents the spirit of WAKA. I can’t wait to see what you all come up with!

The bar game this week is WAKA & NM Trivia! I (Liz) will sadly not be at the bar this week due to being out of town for a work conference, but my teammate and former Shenanigans leader Chris Roybal will be stepping in and taking my place. Chris will hand out trivia sheets with questions. Each question will be worth 1 social point, so your team will have an amazing chance to get A LOT of social points with this bar game! Look out for Chris at the bar and follow the instructions on the sheet.And that’s all I have for you! Have a great week Mesa!

WEEK 3 (CLUB)WAKA PRIDE!

Howdy Zia Ballers!

In the excitement of WAKAPalooza fastly approaching, we happily bring you week 3: WAKA PRIDE!

But first, a recap!

Week two was incredible with a mish mash of decades! We saw some Groovy 70’s, Awesome 80’s, and I do believe Kurt Cobain was resurrected.

Here are the Social Points leaders thus far:

1st SideBURNS and RugBURNS

2nd Awkward

3rd Hawgnado

#picoftheweek was grasped by Awkward, with the brilliant “no Pepper allowed” photo

First place Best Dressed went to SideBURNS and RugBURNS, Right Meow took second and Awkward took third!

Don’t forget about Bonus Bingo and submitting a GSPOT Blog for points as well.

WAKA PRIDE!

This week we want you all to get super pumped up for Vegas, which we once again, will have a HUGE Albuquerque presence!  So, wear ALL your WAKA shirts, and come as a Kickball Sumo Wrestler, or get out those temporary tattoos from years past and cover yourself!  If you’re new to WAKA, just get creative and show your ClubWAKA Spirit!

This weeks’ bar game is “Kickballers who Drink” or “Drinkers who Kickball”  It is a short quiz about the history of WAKA and a few fun facts about your board members, so start asking your CC’s their deepest darkest secrets!!!!   I cannot wait to see how you all bring your WAKA pride this week!

​PONIES SHOW P.I.M.P.S SOME LATE GAME MAGIC

WRITTEN BY DUCKTURTLE /GSPOT
09/21/2016 12:35 PM MT

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Zeus was in attendance for the 2016 fall season opener as the Mount Olympiad took in a spectacular showdown between the Show Ponies and Sister Mary Catherine’s School for P.I.M.P.S. at Barelas Railroad Softball Complex.

Playing short-handed and coming off a loss in the first game of their doubleheader, the Ponies would erupt for four runs in the fourth inning giving themselves a 5-2 victory over the P.I.M.P.S.

Before the night cap, the GSPOT spoke with Zeus – not to be confused with Samuel L. Jackson’s Zeus from the classic cinema, Die Hard with a Vengeance – about the Ponies and the P.I.M.P.S’ performance.

“Thee of Horses (Ponies) faced much diversity in their opener while the School of Procurers (P.I.M.P.S.) escaped with a singular win in their opening clash to our delight,” Zeus stated with his sister-wife, Athena, at his side.  “We were quite pleased to see balls kicked with such furor and vigor.  I was so happy that I give their performances three lightning bolts with a dash of thunder.  Ta-ta!”  I don’t know why, but I pictured Zeus speaking with a British accent.

Even with the God of Thunder in attendance – not to be confused with Thor from the Marvel comic book universe — the game appeared destined for a zero-zero tie with pitchers on both sides of the ball dominating through the first three innings.  “We just couldn’t get the right bounce to ‘bounce’ our way early on,” the Ponies Captain stated in our fake post-game interview.  “We just figured if we were patient enough then the breaks would go our way eventually.”

In the fourth inning, the Ponies would find those breaks bouncing their way.  Big Country would lead off the inning with a solid single that bounced over the P.I.M.P.S Short Gals’ head.  Stache would follow that up with a single of his own into center field.  The cool guy who reminds me of Krillin gave the Ponies an early lead with a bloop single into left field.

After Sideway Hat singled, the Captain would plate two more runs with a line drive into right field.  The Blonde Rocket gave the Ponies a 4-0 lead when she laced a single just beyond the grasp of the P.I.M.P.S diving pitcher.

Being kickball veterans, the P.IM.P.S would strike back for two runs in the bottom half of the fourth.  The Dude put the P.I.M.P.S on the board with a double into deep right center field.  The Guy Getting Sex would make it 4-2 on a sharp single into right field, but that’s all the P.I.M.P.S. could muster against the Ponies tough defense and excellent pitching.

**Disclaimer:  I am bad with names, so I am using bad nicknames.  I apologize if you don’t like it. **

MOMENTS THAT MATTERED

ONE SHORT:  The Ponies started the nightcap with a loss and down a few players, but the Ponies’ defense would come up big with some nice catches to stifle the high scoring P.I.M.P.S’ offense.  The Ponies relied on some key catches from their defense to limit the number of P.I.M.P.S base runners.

LADY HURLERS:  The P.I.M.P.S female pitching attack was giving the Ponies’ offense all kinds of fits early in the game.  The ladies had a whole repertoire of pitches working:  double-bounces, high-bounces, between-the-leggers, cone cutters, etc.

GAME QUOTES:   “You’re so getting SEX tonight!” – one of the P.I.M.P.S Female Pitchers screamed after Getting Sex Guy’s RBI single in the bottom half of the fourth inning.

SOUND SMART WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  This was the first time in the history of WAKA or any kickball league for that matter in which two male pitchers (Ponies) and two female pitchers (P.I.M.P.S) combined for three innings of shutout kickball.

WHAT’S NEXT:   Sister’s Mary Catherine’s School for P.I.M.P.S will look for their second victory of the season when they clash with ThunderNerds who dropped a 9-4 decision to S.H.I.T Show last week.  The game is scheduled for 18:30 showdown on field two.  The Show Ponies will have their hands full with D.I.C.K on field two at 19:30.  The Ponies will need to be ready as D.I.C.K squeaked by the Tight Bunts in a 5-3 thriller.

NEXT WEEK’S GAME(S) OF THE WEEK: Next week’s early game of the week is the classic 18:30 showdown between rivals, Silent Bobs’ Sausage Party versus Howies Heavers, on field five.  The game marks the return of Sara Lynn to the Heavers’ sideline.  The late game of the week is the big showdown between Aaron Jones’ (spelling?) Twerk Pitch and Nate Olayer’s Bye Week at 19:30 field three.  Twerk Pitch looks poised to make a deep post-season run this campaign, and they’ll get their first test against the Bye Week who be playing without WAKA cornerstones, Jenn and Jon.

**You totally killed us, you evil metal dickweeds!  **

CHARITY HELPED SAVE MY LIFE

:THIS WEEKS’ BLOG SUBMISSION BY MITCHELL OTTESEN OF HAWGNADOS:

Kickballers everywhere,

This season’s charity as we all know is the Children’s Cancer Fund of New Mexico. This charity is very near and dear to my heart. I didn’t really have cancer in the traditional sense of the word, although I did have a brain tumor when I was younger. Without the help and support of this great charity, someone you all know and love would probably not be here right now. I am that someoneIf it weren’t for this charity, my parents would not have been able to afford most of my medical bills even with their insurance. The doctors discovered my tumor when I was 2 years old. I went through 5 different brain surgeries up until the point when I was 8 years old. The charity doesn’t just pay for cancer treatments such as chemotherapy and radiation. It also pays for thing such as the physical and/or occupational therapy services which you receive after your cancer treatments while you recover. In short, if it weren’t for this charity, I would not be who II am or where I am today. This season I wanted you all to be able to have personal knowledge of where this money you are donating goes and how it is used so that you are more likely to give of yourself whether it be your money or your time. Don’t just donate because you want your team to earn more social points, or because you feel sorry for the children suffering from cancer. Don’t donate just because I went through something similar to what these children are dealing with today. Do it because it’s something you want to do. Do it for the child that may grow up to someday maybe be a Waka kickball player themselves. Do it to SAVE A LIFE.

Week 2: Decades!

Hey Mesa Kickballers! Welcome to Week 2 of our Fall 2016 Season. We had a great start to Week 1 with some gorgeous skies, weather that held off for the most part, and a ton of people in amazing leggings! Let’s have a quick recap of Week 1.

The theme last week was Extreme Leggings. 7 teams dressed up in theme and posted photos, but I know more teams dressed up! Remember to snap a picture and post that photo on the Mesa Facebook page. No picture, no points! The winners for best dressed for Week 1 were Hakuna MaWAKA (1st), Zia de los Muertos (2nd), and Sister PIMPS (3rd). 

The bar game last week was Caddy Stack where players had to stack 3 golf balls on top of one another in the fastest time. I apologize if your team didn’t get a chance to participate. Please look out for me (Lime Green Shirt and backwards baseball hat) at the bar. Every team got participation points this week because of this, but make sure to track me down next week! The bar game winner for Week 1 was Zia de los Muertos, and they did this task in 45 seconds, which is unreal! They went home with the belt this week. Awesome job Zia!

The #picoftheweek photos you guys submitted were amazing, especially with the sunset and skies we were blessed with. There were a lot of sunset pictures, but one of the them stood out in my mind, and that was the one from Hakuna MaWAKA. Remember, you can use a filter on your photos, but no photoshop. Here is the compilation of all of your #picoftheweek photos.

And here is the quick recap for Life of the Party standings:

1st – Zia de los Muertos (31 points)

2nd – Hakuna MaWAKA (30 points)

3rd – Sister Mary Catherine’s School for PIMPS (23 points)

It’s a close race, and it’s anyone’s game!

Now for Week 2 Shenanigans!

The theme this week is Decades! Decades are some of the most popular themes – both for nostalgia for a particular time, or decades to match the age of a birthday person. From the Jazz, flappers, prohibition, and gangsters of the 1920s to the fabulous fashion and music of the 1990s, bust out whatever is groovy to you and win some social points!

The bar game this week is ‘This Blows’. 1 person from each team will have 1 deflated balloon and 10 solo cups. The 10 solo cups will be arranged at the edge of a table. The player will inflate the balloon using their mouths and use the air discharge from the balloon to knock the solo cups off the table. Once all 10 solo cups are off the table, time will stop and the team that does this the fastest will win the Championship Belt!

And that’s all I have! I hope you have a great week and I will see you on the fields on Thursday!