​ANDY CRASHES SILENT BOBS’ PARTY…YET AGAIN

By Duckturtle/GSPOT

10/19/2016 12:00 PM MT

Albuquerque, NM – When it comes to kickball, some teams have just figured out the winning formula.  Good pitching plus solid defense and timely kicking will usually net you more victories than losses.  The reigning champs, The Andy Dufresnes, continue to prove that winning formula will work as they were able to beat Silent Bobs Sausage Party 4-2 at Barelas Railroad Park last Thursday before a sold-out crowd of like seven people.

“These freaking guys!  It’s gotten to the point that I only watch the first few minutes of Shawshank Redemption these days, because it’s the only time I see a Dufresnes lose,” Silent Bobs captain Byron Matthews stated in his imaginary post-game interview.  “But in all seriousness, they know how to win, and winning is all they do.  At this point, I’m just gonna leave the state to get a title.  New Mexico has broken my heart.”

The Dufresnes came into their week four showdown with their intraleague rivals on the heels of an impressive run at Founders’ Cup in Las Vegas during the bye week.  The tournament run by the Dufresnes was the best run of any New Mexico team since the beginning of the tournament – they left Vegas as a known commodity on the national stage and with the title of semifinalist.  It’s safe to say that the Dufresnes were coming into last week’s game on a pretty good competitive high.  “Strong was the will in us.  Confident become we have,” Dufresnes Matt Durkovich probably wouldn’t have said in our post-game interview.

In the top half of the first inning after loading the bases, the Dufresnes were only able to push across a run when Marc Lacroix scored on Justin Martin’s sacrifice fly to left field.  The Silent Bobs’ would answer back with two in their half of the first.  After Brian Timchula’s bunt single, Zack Rogers would drive him in on a bunt coupled with a string of defensive miscues by the Dufresnes which allowed Rogers to come around to score on the play, giving the Silent Bobs’ an early 2-1 lead.

That was all the offense the Silent Bobs’ would be able to muster as the Dufresnes shut them down for the next four innings – only two Silent Bobs’ would reach base after the first inning.  This allowed the Dufresnes to get back in the game.  The Dufresnes would take advantage of some wildness as Matt A. would force the bases loaded walk to tie the game at three.  Durkovich would double to lead off the fourth inning then he would advance to third on Kristy Tadgell’s bunt single, and he would come across on a force out at third to give the Dufresnes the lead and the eventual win.

MOMENTS THAT MATTERED

NO OFFENSE:   Yet again, the Silent Bobs’ were unable to get their offense going against the Dufresnes — only capable of producing three hits after the two runs crossed the plate.  “The team that scores more than the other team generally wins 100% of the games they play,” Matthews stated about his team’s missing offense. 

SOUND SMART WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  Former Silent Bobs and current Dufresnes Justin Martin drove in the game’s first run for his new team against his old team.  The last time that this event occurred was during the 1987 summer season when Charlie “The Split” Craine homered off his old team, The Scooters of Menaul, to give his new team, The Topegas of Osuna, a 1-0 victory.

WHAT’S NEXT:  #5 Silent Bobs’ Sausage Party (3-1-0) will have two shots to get their offense and mojo back this week as they take on #10 Twerk Pitch (2-2-0) on field one at 18:30 then they’ll welcome the #9 ThunderNerds (3-2-0) at 19:30.  As for #1 The Andy Dufresnes (5-0-0), they’ll be taking on #2 Team Zissou (4-1-0) on field three at 19:30 in one of six late games at Barelas Railroad Park.

**Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL!  **

​HAKUNA ALL UP IN THOSE BUNTS

By Duckturtle/GSPOT

10/19/2016 12:00 PM MT

Albuquerque, NM – Thursday night was a rough time for the DJ Tight Bunts.  First, there was some serious doubt whether they would be able to field a team, and when they did they had to watch as Hakuna MaWAKA lit up the scoreboard to the tune of 20-2 at Barelas Railroad Park.

“Well, we would’ve been here sooner, but we forgot where we parked when we all left work (this evening),” the Bunts pitcher Tiawna “Tijuana” Cayton wouldn’t have said to the GSPOT about her team’s late arrival.  “See, we all parked in one spot then after work, we thought we parked in another spot, but it turns out we were all in our original spots.  Weird, am I right?”  That sure is weird…very weird.

Even with the Bunts’ struggles in the many parking lots across the Duke City metro area, their biggest struggle of the day would be to containing the high powered offense of Hakuna who were coming off an impressive showing at Wakapalooza in Las Vega, NV during the bye week.

“Do we need new livers?  Probably, but those four days were some of the best,” Hakuna captain Ali Wagner stated in my fake and imaginary post-game interview.  “We came back energized and ready to play. WE CAME BACK PUMPED!”

The recharged batteries along with the caps of “pumpedness” were evident early as Frank Roecker would clear the bases loaded on a stand-up triple to make it 3-0.  Roecker would score on a ground out to make it a four run top half of the first inning.  But the Bunts would cut the lead in their half of the first.  After getting a handful of runners on, Shay would drive in CJ on a liner to third then the Blue Jacket Guy would score on a botched bunt attempt to make it 4-2.

However, the floodgates would open on the Bunts.  Chase “The Mac” Fleetwood would drive in two runs.  Roecker would triple again.  Wagner drove in a pair of runs.  After running around the diamond on defense, Jake Topmiller would kick a grand slam homerun to go along with a pair of doubles and a triple.  Ryan McDonough would drive in several runs.  Rachel Love would drive in another set of runs. Wes Torres and Shawn would single in another set of runs.  And so on and so on and so on.  Once the dust cleared and the bases were put back into their proper places, the Bunts were looking up at 20-2 score going into the bottom half of the fifth.

MOMENTS THAT MATTERED  

LADY BUNTS ON THE DEFENSIVE:  Defensive it was tough night for the Bunts, but they can take solace in the fact that plenty of their ladies made some pretty impressive catches on defense.  The VSX Gal would make two nice running catches in the first and later in the third inning.  The young lady playing second base would make a nice running catch into right field to get the Bunts out of an early jam in the second inning.

GAME QUOTES:  “Hash tag anal!” – Hakuna’s Chase Fleetwood to the entire Bunts’ defense

SOUND SMART WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  With his grand slam along with his two doubles and triple on the night, Hakuna’s Jake Topmiller would end up perfect on the night with multiple at-kicks that went for extra bases.  This is the first time this feat has been reached since Ziggy Walldrake achieved that feat in 1966 for the Barelas Mudslingers during their championship run.

WHAT’S NEXT:  It was a tough night for the Bunts as Hakuna just continued to pound and pound and pound on the base paths.  #20 DJ Tight Bunts (0-5-0) will need to close the holes on defense when they get a visit from #15 S.H.I.T Show (2-3-0) on field six at 18:30.  As for #4 Hakuna MaWAKA (4-1-0), they’ll get things started early on field two at 18:30 when they get a meeting from #7 Holy Wakamole (3-2-0).

**You’re gonna need a bigger boat!  **

​LOOKING 2 SCORE LOOKS TO OUTSCORE THE PONIES

WRITTEN BY DUCKTURTLE/GSPOT
10/12/2016 12:00 PM MT

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – Heading into the Founder’s Cup bye week, Looking 2 Score wanted to go into the break with some momentum, but more importantly, they wanted to come away with their first win.  Several moons ago, the Score would get their first victory of the fall campaign in big-time fashion as they cruised to a 15-7 victory over the Show Ponies at Barelas Railroad Softball Complex.

“We just wanted to go into the beak on a bit of a roll, you know, we just wanted to get piece of that sweet cheddar,” the Scores captain Maggie May Monster Mash stated about her team’s pre-game preparation.  “We just wanted to come out and play smooth as butter.  You know?  Play like some real hot tamales!  Be the spoon that stirs the drink.  You know the apple of my eye.”  

Maggie May Monster Mash would go on like that for hours, and she had two good reasons to be “hungry” about her team’s chances on the night:  (1) the club’s offense was starting to cook and gel, and (2) the Ponies were coming into the Thursday night affair with a depleted roster – and the Score would make them pay.

Larry Fitzgerald’s twin would get the game started with a bunt double up the third base line.  Maggie May Monster Mash put the Score on the board with a single to right field.  Buffalo Bill quickly made things 2-0 on a hanging double-bouncer that fell into right center field for a double.  Dude One and Dudette One would made things 5-0 on a pair of back-to-back singles into right field.  With those two on, No Cleats McGee would homer to deep center field to give the Score eight runs after only a half inning of play.

“That was a rough inning,” the Ponies Captain Joel stated in my imaginary post-game interview.  “When a team is playing good ball offensively, and you have holes in your defense then anything can happen.  Not to mention the sun was in our eyes.  Damn, sun!  Why must there be sunlight at night, WHY?!”

The damn night sun along with the wetness of falling water did make things tough for both defenses.  The Ponies would take advantage of two defensive miscues by the Score in the bottom half of the second inning to get themselves on the board.

However, the Score’s offense combined with the holes in the Ponies’ defense would just lead to more runs for the Score later.  Larry Fitzgerald and Maggie May Monster Mash provided another spark in the top half of the third inning.  

Fitzgerald would use his wheels to end up on third then he would score on Maggie’s May force out at first for a run.  Buffalo Bill drove in two runs with his second double of the game.  Dude Two added two more runs on a sharp liner into left field, and he would come around to score on Long Hair’s single up the middle.

The Ponies did mount a mini-rally in the bottom of the fifth. The Polite Lady drove in their second run on a single to left field.  Hat Girl drove in a run with a sharp liner into left field.  Joel bunted passed Fitzgerald for another run which was followed by The Popeye’s Chicken Lady two run single up the middle.  But the Ponies’ rally would fall short as they would fall to the Score, 15-7.

MOMENTS THAT MATTERED

LADIES LOOKIN’ 2 SCORE:  The ladies on both sides of the ball were lacing some serious liners in this one.  Each lady on both sides of the ball would reach base in this one all would reach via the line drive single variety.  “The ladies were putting some serious boot to the ball,” a fake on-looker would say about the offensive display by the ladies.  “These ladies weren’t up there to bunt, they were lacing it up.”

SOUND SMART WITH YOUR FRIENDS:  The Score’s eight run first inning and the Ponies’ six run fifth inning was the 137th time this year that two teams had rallies of 6+ runs in their respective half innings during a five inning game.  The last two teams to complete that feat were the Mud Hounds of Unser and Dos Ojos of Futbol during the 1980s.

GAME QUOTES:  “It’s gonna be a long game with all this wetness!”  — Larry Fitzgerald stated from the Score’s sideline.

“The Sun was in my eyes.”  — The Ponies’ Tall Tattooed Guy on a ball that he nearly caught.

“I hate Popeye’s chicken.  I prefer KFC.”  — The Ponies Popeye’s Chicken Lady while taking strike two in her at-bat.

WHAT’S NEXT:  The #17 Show Ponies (1-3-0) will look to bounce back this week when they clash with the high energy of #20 Zia de los Muertos (0-4-0) on field two at 19:30.  As for #12 Looking 2 Score (1-2-1), they’ll have their hands full of #2 D.I.C.K. (3-0-0) who are riding high with a three game unbeaten streak.

NEXT WEEK’S GAME(S) OF THE WEEK:  If you’re able to get to the park early this Thursday then check out the game on field one at 18:30 between #13 Holy Wakamole (1-2-0) against #5 Bye Week (3-1-0).  At 19:30 on field four, #3 Silent Bobs’ Sausage Party (3-0-0) will renew their love with #1 The Andy Dufresnes (4-0-0), who  are coming off an impressive semi-finals run at Founder’s Cup this past weekend.

**L for ‘love’.  **